Manhattan Mumblers
Every morning on my daily commute I encounter them.
At least one, and sometimes, if I'm looking extra foxy, a good handful. They walk close to me, generally coming from the oposite direction on the sidewalk. Brush up against me as I am squeezing my way down a crowded street. In the subways they slyly
hop out of the car with their heads cocked backwards and I can see their lips moving in my direction.
They are the Manhattan Mumblers.
A surreptitious breed consisting mainly of toxic bachelors and early morning blue collar workers. Upon recognition of a female species, (preferably showing a little leg, however definitely not a prerquisite) they will find their way to position themselves adjacent to her, casually, yet conveniently close. That is when they mutter those few choice words. Words that you would be appalled and nauseated to hear even from the hottest of men, and shun as the syllables echo in your mind.
Now I must point out that there are two types of Manhattan Mumblers. Those that want the female to hear what they are daring to say to her, and those that do not. The ones that do hold such nerve, will make sure that you are a woman aware of your surroundings and your senses acute. The group that does not possess such audacity will survey for earphones, headsets, or anything suggesting a lack of attention. They slowly await for the right time to slip past, uttering a sentence, and then walking on, as if nothing had even been said. However different their intentions may be, both groups are equally crafty and shameless and all fall under the same basic term, The Manhattan Mumber.
So now my question for you is: Knowing that you may come into contact with such a perverse group on a daily basis as you walk slickly down the sidewalks of New York, is it your inclination to turn the volume on your iPod up... or down?
posted by alannajoy at 9:56 PM
13 Comments:
cool blog. not being a New Yorker, I had no idea that the Big Apple was rife with mumbling miscreants.
Feel free to read my blog. Not as poetic as yours, but it has some passion.
Jags: heck yes I made it myself.. I'm a designer girl! Thx for the compliment! Nice T by the way.. Gooo BUCKEYES!
hrsghisdor sjhf sjjfk. ahsrgjsdsf? sjreklsjtrgts! hahahahaha
Are they West Indian men, are they? I'm sure they are, I used to meet them everywhere on the streets in Jamaica...they wait until you're slightly past them...and they mumble.
I learnt how to tune them out. I day dream a lot so I don't hear.
A.JOY
I'm confused. What do these Mumblers say? "I want to be on you" or "Hey sexy lady, blah, blah, blah." This is the weirdest thing I've ever heard. Maybe I can pitch the story to GQ or something. Fill me in, yo!
AJ: "I WANT TO BE ON YOU.... iwanttobeonyou....I..."
Yes things of such nature, however throw in a few a few foul sounds, loud coos, and raunchy words for good measure, and bam, you've got urself one ugly earful!
GG: Yes, I have decided to tune them out (like Jags) and turn my iPod wayyy up when I see a likely suspect heading towards me. This morning it was mainly whistles from construction workers and a few honks from drivers, so luckily no real "foul play"... LOL
Thx y'all
alannajoy
In Atlanta, we've just got a handful of crazies that walk up and down the sidewalks of my neighborhood mumbling (or sometimes yelling) their unintelligble color commentary to the open air. I don't think it makes a difference if somebody is around or not.
Sometimes on a quiet night if I turn off the TV or the radio I can listen carefully and hear them outside as they pass by. I've lived here long enough now that I can usually tell which crazy it is just by the sound of their voice, though I still don't really understand what they're saying.
D
PS - Really digging the new banner! Happy Thanksgiving ya'll.
I've always thought that they say these things to get a reaction out of the person they are mumbling about. I can't even imagine what they could say that would be foul enough to offend.
Imagine, some mumbler moves up to you and mumbles something offensive, you then respond with something that shows everyone around how inadequate they are? There may be some pitfalls to this, but I can't stop laughing at the image of that berated mumbler.
P.S. I've also been meaning to compliment you on your new banner, so, nice banner! I can't imagine where you found such a good pair of legs to use in that picture!
I cant believe this really goes on...Is it a new trend, is this going on in Chicago too and I'm just not realizing it? What the hell... It kind of reminds me of when I was twelve and at the mall we would walk by cute girls and say, "i love you" to get a reaction.
you know how to mess w their head- just say the SAME exact thing back to them- if they say "hi doll" you turn and say to them "hi doll"
blue collars do not appreciate being called a doll
or just burst out laughing in their face-
Alanna -I'd turn it down, just to hear what they'd say. Then again, I deal with that on a daily basis with chicks yelling stuff at me. :)
ooooh good question! okay, i say it depends on the day. some days i'm totally entertained by the manhattan mumblers, but there's other days when they drive me insane and i just want to tune them out!!
happy thanksgiving!!!!!
I've never heard of mumblers. How come no one comes up to me a mumbles? Am I that bitchy? Don't answer that! Well that's pretty freakin uncomfortable if you ask me. I think you need to come up with an escape plan in case one of these guys are actually crazy and NEVER make eye contact! That's an invitation for them to start harassing you.
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