My Return to the 9th Planet

Picture it: Christmas, 2009, 

New York City. 

Right after the very first snow blizzard to kick off the start of the winter season. Tourists from out of town visit the tree and window shop in delight while trudging through now dark colored snow on the sidewalks. Children's eyes grow wide at the sight of toy displays, horse drawn carriages in the park and the smell of warm chestnuts in the air. It also happens to be a time when I've just learned that one of the most constant people in my life has come down with a devastating illness... one that could prove fatal.

Amidst the holly and mistletoe and presents and laughter, I wander through a maze within the dark corners of my mind hoping that somewhere, somehow there is a flicker of light that leads to the promise of things reverting to my norm and how they always were... back to what I now realize I've taken for granted for many years.

The thought that 2010 could prove to be the biggest bump my road has yet to see is beyond my total comprehension in this moment. When I widen my view in an attempt to prepare myself and those around me for the potential of such extreme anguish, the pain cuts quickly like a stab of a knife through my soul. It does not linger, it does not spread, it merely jolts me into a reality I do not want to face, and in that flash I feel only a fragment of what is to come.

And so this Christmas, while I try to make the best of where we are in our current battle between acceptance and denial, healing and suffering, fighting and relenting, I look ahead in anticipation and prayer, that I can one day soon breathe in the clean air of comfort knowing my family's lives are on a path which leads them through the woods and out into the clearing, to bathe in sunshine.

Photo by Ed Lederman

The Tale of the Holiday Meat Wreath

Once upon a time in the city of Manhattan, (2 stars to the left of Alanna Land that is), there lived a girl... A girl with a dream. Her name was D, and was heading with her roomie, A.Joy, over to a Christmas Pot-Luck dinner one fine Sunday evening in December. She pondered high and low of what delectable holiday treat she could offer up to her warm and good-natured friends. Something festive, something fun. But above all, something to tease the taste buds and awaken the senses.

The first idea was a fruit pie. "Hmmm...Too sweet." she said.

Her next thought was a roasted turkey. "No, too much like Thanksgiving.." she decided.

D meditated and thought, searching every crevice and cranny in that unbridled brain of hers when suddenly the spirit of the holiday season was upon her and the perfect thought prevailed...

"I've got it!" she exclaimed. "I shall marry the best part of a fruit pie with the most succulant piece of turkey to produce what shall be known from this day forward as: The Holiday Meat Wreath!"

With her ambitions soaring, D set to work. Hussling and bussling all the day long inside her tiny Manhattan kitchen. She mixed, and stirred and kneaded dough, until all the ingredients blended and merged into the most scrumptious, jubilant main dish a Christmas Pot-Luck dinner could ever include.

As she marched down the sidewalk with A.Joy by her side, the mouthwatering Meat Wreath gave off an aroma unlike anything man could comprehend. They left a trail of palatable perfume to stun passer byers as they strolled.

When they entered the lavish party, guests flocked from all corners, yearning and craving to feast on such holiday morsels. D set the precious dish down with the others on the long banquet table and was timidly approached by company. Smiles and laughs, and sounds of rejoice were heard over the haze of gluttony that engulfed the priceless fare.

When the plates were cleaned and all were satisfied, the visitors raised their glasses in cheers and ovation. "Here's to the day we were so gladly introduced to the very rare and special Holiday Meat Wreath!"

"Here! Here!" they exclaimed, and the merriment and holiday festivities continued...
The End

6 Months in AlannaLand: A Visual Recap

Just Sayin'...

... I'm back... (from Tokyo)

I kept getting hit up with, "What did you get lost in Tokyo and never make it back to this side of the world?" Um, no.. although I semi wish this were the case, and would probably be way more interesting as a post than what I now have to offer, however, the real story is one of sheer laziness where my writing is concerned...

At any rate, I'm alive, I'm kicking and ticking around the city of Manhattan, and feel as though I'm starting to find my way in the direction of Alannaland. Things lately, for me, have been on the upside... small, baby-sized sort of feats that have lead me to a place of acceptance with myself, of myself... and I feel an empowerment that may halo into something larger, that may prove to push me towards a growth that I am ready to embrace.

Its pleasantly unexpected for me to recognize myself growing... Like the enormous puzzle that you've been working at here or there for ages on the fold out table in the corner of your home office that finally begins to show the picture from the box taking its form. Its another piece of yourself, snapping into place and fitting into its groove where it belongs.

I've been filled with my own faith, in myself and in the universe, that maybe, just maybe I am traveling in the manner and on the course that will lead me to a higher place... A better place within me that will settle with feelings of peace and security and happiness on a more constant level... Only time will tell...

But for now, I will close my eyes as the night hour falls upon the rather chilly city, and think of the green palms and pure shores I am to be jaunting off to in just a wee short days time...

I may be back from Tokyo, but I can't say I'll be able to write the same when I get to Maui... You may just lose me there...

Pic taken of the bay in Kamakura, Japan.