Singin' In The Rain?

On this utterly gloomy morning, I hit the snooze button twice before hurling myself out of bed at the blurry sight of my alarm clock. Luckily, the game of dress up in front of my unflattering mirror did not take hold of me, and I ran out the door with umbrella in hand in the hopes that I wouldn't necessarily have to open it, like the previous grey days we have been encountering here in Manhattan.

Complete wishful thinking.

I believe the phrase is torrential Downpour', which is a sufficient way of describing what was happening... Although I personally prefer:

'Who- The- Fuck- Would- Actually- Step- Foot- Outside- Their- Apt- In- This- Soggy- Mess- And- Believe- They- Wouldn't- Get- Creamed- By- Gazillion- Mile- An- Hr- Winds- And- Pelleting- Rain- Drops- Being- Shot- From- The- Gods- Above'?

Um, yeah. That might about sum it up. Oh, and I have the answer...ME.

Out I trenched into the boisterous inclement weather, thinking I could take refuge under my darling little daisy umbrella with pretty green leaves and bright yellow hues. I got as far as the corner before the damn thing flipped upwards sending me flying in all directions. It's days like this I wish I had memorized the bus schedule or could find an empty cab...But no such luck.

By the time I reached the subway I was entirely soaked from the waste down. My cute little sling-backs were acting like squeaky sponges under my toes and my bag which dipped concavely ever so slightly, made for a terrific bowl, capturing raindrops until it overflowed onto my hip... Sweet.

As the anger and disgust started to build up inside of me, I turned the corner to notice one of the cutest guys Manhattan has been hiding. He was geared up from head to toe with rainslicker and umbrella yet still managed to keep a bounce in his step. We exchanged quick glances and that is when it hit me... I was wearing an enormous, unappealing, unflattering FROWN! I gasped- Oh no, he thinks I'm pissed off! But I AM! But...WHY?! Ugh..., I thought to myself. Damn it, am I really that much of a New Yorker already? WHY am I letting a little bit of rain get to me?

Upon realization of my terrible mood, I vowed to turn the other cheek. I scurried into my office like a wet rat approaching shelter. Today is a good day, I decided. Rain brings just the right excuse for a brand new, DRY ensemble! And so, off I went to shop!