To Blind Date or Not to Blind Date
So I've always been the type of person who counts fate as a valuable reason for the comings and goings of different people in our lives. I've always trusted the universe to bring the right (or wrong) people my way and allow everything to happen in a natural order of occurance... Nothing faked or planned or forced or staged. Completely El Naturale for me, thank you. It's like John Mayer says "Thats the way this wheel keeps turning..." And I fully believe it.
As I was explaining to D-Roomie today on our walk home from work, I'm the type of gal who's destined to be walking down a New York City sidewalk, and just as I've taken a glance down at my pretty, shiny, high-heeled shoe (though sadly no Manolo), I've bumpbed into the most perfectly suitable stranger right before me. I've outright vowed never to type in the cheezy web address of say, match.com (this doesn't count), or post a tacky singles ad in the Village Voice. No way! Ick, not me.
So the problem these days there in lies in the fact that everyone and their damned mother thinks that I NEED to be set up on a blind date. I'm talking friends, co-workers, parents, neighbors, and (wince), even my doorman. It's like someone has stamped a big sign on my head that shouts "SINGLE!", not to mention that they honestly believe I can't find the right man on my own.
One of my friends actually came up to me the other day with the notion that he had the "most perfect guy" for me. "Why do you say that?" I asked. "Because, well... I was just thinking... He's a single guy in his late twenties in Manhattan... and your a single girl right? You've never spoken of having a boyfriend right now or anything. So I was just thinking... You two would be PERFECT!"
Riiiight. Great. So judging on the notion that I don't have a damned ring on my finger yet I'm perfect for any single dude in a 10 mile radius of Manhattan that isn't boning another chick on a regular basis. Yup, sounds about right to me.
So here I am, receiving all sorts of unsolicited text messages, vm's and emails from all eligable bachelors rounded up by my network of "Loved Ones" and I feel like some sort of bait being dangled before swarming sharks. Okay, okay, maybe that is a little harsh of a statement... But I do feel like my single life has somehow been offered up on a platter, being coaxed against all cosmic odds to fight the El Naturale and conform to a tragic set up.
But what if that's just not me?
posted by alannajoy at 11:32 PM
7 Comments:
i say cut to the chase and elimidate! 4 blind dates, AT THE SAME TIME. would prob save you a lot of time, at least.
go for it! you should go on all kinds of blind dates- even if you find that you dont like ANY of these guys, the fact that you're going on all these dates will take your mind of the fact that you're single and that in itself will create this attactive aura around you... which will draw all kinds of guys to you out of nowhere. its basic rule of phisics, if you're NOT trying to hit the tree with the ball, you are actually MORe likely to hit it. :)
and of course we want to hear all the gory details ---heheheeeee
I think the person above me is definitely onto something, though I can't remember learning that specific lesson in physics class, it was definitely implicitly covered sometime in college.
oh girl, you know me and blind dates... what's the harm, right?? you never know if fate is resting on your mom's best friend's dogwalker's oldest nephew... right?
and yes, blind dates make for good blog posts.
I find it a bit amusing to read that you're rebelling against the undesired (though, perhaps, warranted?) help you're receiving. I understand that in a way.
I was set up on a blind date of my own about the time I started writing my blog. It wasn't an unpleasant experience, yet, it also wasn't what I wanted.
I tried very hard to connect with this woman, but her own reticent nature made it that much harder. When I finally met her, she refused to let me draw her out and share any common experiences. I got along better with her already married friends then I ever did with this woman.
Perhaps you shouldn't go in with a chip on your shoulder. Don't get me wrong, these guys may be single for a good reason. But don't back yourself into a corner until they do something that earns that attitude. (And make sure the get away car is warmed up and ready to go once you're sure it's over!)
And remember (not to mention repeating it to yourself many times as family and friends offer their help), they only torture you so because of their unending regard and concern for you. Besides, even if you are bait, you're very good looking bait! ;)
once again, alanna, you've taken the words right out of my mouth. LITERALLY! okay, i always tell people i don't do internet dating and i dislike blind dates, because i believe in fate! i love the idea of bumping into a stranger, my purse goes flying, we both lean down to pick up my stuff, and it's love. :) idealistic? yeah, but so what?! i love the notion of that kind of thing. and blind dates and internet dating take it all away. I HATE BLIND DATES! because every time i go on one, i never like him (or vice versa) and then it's all awkward with the person who set you up, etc. Blech. I'm happy single!
Okay, I've been reading your blog long enough (and seen enough photos) to know you should not have any trouble attracting men (or women for that matter), but whether or not you are attracting good ones or are selecting ones that are really right for you is another issue. I can understand your interest in finding your mate through the workings on "fate", but I wonder if you are defining "fate" to narrowly. Maybe the fact that you live in your current building with this specific doorman is fate working so that you can meet his single friend. Maybe, maybe not, but you never know. Prejudgement of what you think fate is suppose to be is one sure way to kick fate in the ass. It reminds me of the story of a man drowning in a river and when a rescue team arrives to save him he tells them not to help him because he believes in fate, whatever happens will happen for a purpose. Well, he drowns and when he gets to heaven God asks him, "Why didn't you let the men I sent help you out of the river?"
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